Thursday, February 01, 2007
Oxymel
Oxymel is a syrup of honey and vinegar. Not sure of the purpose of such a syrup. Perhaps it's a cure for sunburn or hangovers - both of which were prevalent at the Wellington Rugby Sevens tournament I've just been visiting. See my other blog for more information about that. And I've noticed that, while mother word imp was away, the little word imps did play - literally. Joint winners on the poll were Madame C and Realityjunkie. Well done, both of you.
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Oxymel is a product that has been brought onto the market by veterinarians to treat stressed out and highly strung Oxen. Farmers have welcomed and praised the release of this product as they were having severe difficulties with their Oxen breeding programme, and the numbers of Oxen in the world had started to dwindle. Since the introduction of Oxymel, Oxen around the globe have mellowed out considerably, and everyone can now sigh a huge sigh of relief as those Oxen numbers have started to climb again. Phew.
Oxymel describes the common misuse of the word literally.
"I literally jumped out of my skin." "Really? When did you jump back in?"
"I literally died of embarassment." "My gosh, and you're still here?"
Barry literally had a cow!
Tom literally shat a brick. Literally.
Oxymel is the proper breathing (expelling air) technique used when doing aerobic or cardio exercise to get the full metabolizing potential. One must breath out on extertion to get the full benefit of exercise. Oxymelling also helps one to concentrate on his or her breathing so it is easier to keep his/her mind off the "grunt" work.
Shelly oxymelled everytime she raised the 5 lb dumbells over her shoulders.
Oxymel is the brand name the lubricant used to release saucepans stuck on the heads of small children.
It is only available to hospitals and doctors, which is why when you have tried everything at home - lard, olive oil, sunflower oil, butter, sump oil, WD40, EVERYTHING - you take the lil one to casualty and they apply the magic goo and off comes the pan.
You will be pleased to know that oxymel is toxic to neither pan or child.
Oxymel can also be used on dads who have stuck the sink plunger in the middle of their foreheads to entertain babies and toddlers.
Tom literally shat a brick? What if he literally laterally shat a brick. Ouch!
Oxymel. The tiny short breath one emits when riding cloven hoofed animals and the animal stumbles before one has the opportunity to take a full breath.
Small puffs of oxymel breaths continued to burst out of the herder as he rode his oxen down a steep canyon while unable to intake oxygen. This enabled his to receive small amounts of oxygen until safely down the incline.
Oxymel, or the unlikely pairing of two foods or types of cuisines, is more commonly known these days as fusion cuisine. When I was in college, it was known as combat-style cuisine.
For example, if a new restaurant opened around the corner and they served sesame emu, that would be an oxymel.
Oxymel - Sharp edged melon.
"Carl literally cut his legs off when prancing through the oxymel patch."
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