Blandishments

Thanks for your excellent invented meanings for blandishments. I loved them all, as I always do. But it's true.

Blandishments - in reality - are compliments which are intended to coax or persuade. Now that's a great word to add to our everyday communication.

As I said, it was tricky choosing from the entries, but I settled on realityjunkie as today's winner. Welcome back, realityjunkie! Here's the winner:

Blandishments are punishments that don't actually fit the crime.
"Emily should've been sent to bed without supper for hitting her little brother. Her mother took pity on her and gave her the blandishment of having a time out instead."

Gazunder

Gazunder is a business term. It occurs when a buyer reduces their offer on a property just before the contract is exchanged, even though they agreed to a higher price earlier. Or something like that anyway. Whatever it is, it sounds a bit suspect. I actually loved every one of the entrants in today's competition, so I had to close my eyes and point...

Raelha is the random winner - because her meaning is great and because she won the random lucky point which occurs when I can't choose between the entrants. Here it is:
Gazunder (n.) is the rumbly noise your tummy makes after eating too many beans before the expelling of any gas takes place.

May I also say that I realise I have been invisible for far too long. I will try to make up for it. Somehow.

Tumbril

A tumbril is actually a bit gory! It's a cart used to transport prisoners to the guillotine during the French Revolution. I'm always harping on about how I love all the invented meanings and how hard it is to choose between them. Well, this time it was super hard - they were all soooo good. Of course, that's not the reason that it took me so long to judge the entries. That was due to being overworked and deadline focused. I had to choose a winner, so here it is:

Meira came up with a great one: Tumbril, noun: a rare and lethal disease which affects users on Tumblr.com, in which the user becomes so addicted to the site that site and user are physically inseparable. Brain atrophy is a common side effect.

Collocation

Apparently, a collocation is a group of words that usually occurs together. I have quite a bit to do with words, but that's news to me. So if I've misinterpreted my dictionary explanation, I'm happy to be corrected by my fellow word imps. Thanks for your invented meanings - they were excellent. I chose Jem's as today's winner, as I found it highly amusing.

Here it is: A collocation is the proper term for the mishap of fastening a button into the wrong buttonhole.

Sedulous

A sedulous person is very diligent and persevering. In fact, I can be considered as sedulous - even though I haven't realised it until now. It's the first day of the Rugby World Cup here in NZ today - so let's hope our All Blacks are sedulous throughout the tournament!

As always, the alternative meanings for sedulous were highly amusing and sooo difficult to choose between. I eventually settled on the following meaning as the winner, because it made me giggle. But there were some very close seconds. Well done, everyone.

LivelyClamor gave us this great invented meaning: "Sedulous is sitting on a warm white sandy beach with no inclination to get up, and the phenomenon of rubbing yourself into the sand as if planning to send down roots. Unfortunately, this is eventually followed by "perspickety" when you have to get up and brush all that sand off all those places it's now sticking to."

Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a sentence which starts with a well known figure of speech but ends with an unexpected and humorous twist. For example, "where there's a will...I want to be in it" is a paraprosdokian.

You can have lots of fun with paraprosdokians and you'll find plenty more if you google the word. It goes without saying that I absolutely adored your invented meanings for paraprosdokian this week and I am in awe of your ingenuity. Fabulous work, word imps! Choosing a winner was tricky but I settled on the suggestion from Hey Jude because it made me laugh out loud - which is always a good thing to do in the morning. Thanks Jude.

Here's her invented meaning: "Paraprosdokian is the parallel import fairy-tale for Rumpelstiltskin."

Greave

A greave is a piece of shin armour. I guess it's the olden day form of a soccer or hockey shin pad. So next time my son is remembering all his soccer bits and pieces before the game I'll be sure and remind him about his greaves!

Thanks to the word imps who joined in with this one - all good invented meanings. Sprite gave us the first and, in my opinion, best meaning for greave. Here it is:
"Because the rich man was not well liked, his association hired some older widows to greave at his grave so it would not be obvious that no one felt any great grief at his loss."

I love it!

Peroration

Peroration is a thing you do during public speaking, weirdly enough. You do the peroration at the end of the speech when you conclude and summarise your main points. I always called that the conclusion and summary, but there you go! It has an official name: peroration.

Yours Truly B was the winner today out of a great selection of fine invented meanings. Well done YTB! Here's her excellent effort, which sounds surprisingly true...

Peroration is what a chef does to prepare the meat before slow roasting it over an open flame. It is the time to relax the meat, season it and make sure it is ready for tender perfection.

Cyclotron

A cyclotron is used in science experiments to accelerate charged particles by a strong vertical magnetic field. That's my version of what the dictionary said, so if you're a scientist who disagrees, many apologies for the layman's terminology.

Thanks to the word imps for their imaginative meanings. I enjoyed them all because they are much easier to understand than the one in my dictionary!

PianoMan takes today's cake with his visually stimulating meaning for cyclotron. Here 'tis: A cyclotron is the technical name for an automaton cyclops gone haywire. For some reason, many of them gained personalities and terrorized entire continents. Such examples may be Godzilla, Sasquatch, or Big Bird. However some are nice - like the B.F.G. (Big Friendly Giant) or Elmo.

Halberd

According to my well thumbed dictionary, a halberd is a spear with an axe blade. I found the invented meanings far more enlightening and was incredibly impressed with the depth of meaning that each word imp managed to uncover. Fabulous! All were worthy of honour, but I have to give the accolades today to the lovely Sara! Welcome back, Sara and thanks for your "fetching" contribution. Here it is:

A Halberd is a rather fetching ginger beard, as sported by Henry VIII. It became all the rage during his reign, with young men visiting the barbers and asking for a halberd and a short back and sides. Turmeric was used to get just the right shade of red. The reason they called it a halberd rather than making direct reference to Henry VIII is because there was a danger that the jealous king may have their heads chopped off if they were seen to be overtly imitating him. On one occasion he became so suspicious about the sudden influx of red bearded young men that he sent his soldiers out to wash the beard of every red haired man in the country. Soon after this halberds became less popular.

Auriferous

If something is auriferous, it contains gold. Simple as that. This blog for instance, could be described by some as auriferous. I loved the various meanings suggested by the word imps. They were so different and so inventive. However, I had to choose one, which I've done. Well done to Sprite for this auriferous meaning...

I think an auriferous person would be one who is in possession of a tin ear:
"It was truly unfortunate that the children's first introduction to music education was from an auriferous old nun. They carried those tone deaf interpretations of beloved hymns with them through the years."

Cordite

Cordite is an explosive used to make things go bang! Your invented meanings were pretty explosive and I was impressed with the variety and collective wisdom involved. I liked them all, but my favourite was written by Hey Jude. Here's her contribution:

Cordite was the slang nickname given to the Hangman at the gallows, back in the days when people were hanged.

Phrenologist

A phrenologist was someone who studied the size and shape of skulls to decide on people's character and mental capacity. I'm pretty sure they have been replaced by other health professionals with different ideas. Interesting stuff!

Choosing between the entrants was difficult, but I decided on the entry of Thinks! which is very funny. I'm sure you'll agree when you read it below:
"Phrenologists are a little known group of phanatisists who are dedicated to the use oph the letters ph instead of f and were responsible for the spelling oph such words as telephone and physics etc. Things have got more complicated now that many under 30 year olds have replaced the sound th with f and v so perhaps the english language will supher phrom confusion wever we phink its good or bad!"

Funicular

A funicular is a cable railway on a steep mountainside. Sounds scary! Thanks for your very inventive meanings for this lovely word. I chose the suggestion of Hey Jude as today's winner. It sounds like it fits well.
Here is her fine contribution: "Funicular is part of the science of inventing roller coaster rides. It describes the degree of loops, twists and turns you can have without the carriage de-railing or passengers falling out."

Rinkhals

Rinkhals is a South African cobra that spits venom. Not something I ever want to encounter, thanks very much. I really enjoyed the invented meanings, as always, and have chosen the meaning suggested by Dasing as today's winner.

Here it is: Rinkhals - The spaces in between piano keys.

Mountebank

A mountebank is a charlatan or a fake - kind of like we are when we invent spurious meanings for words I guess! Never mind, we'll continue anyway. I loved each of the invented meanings that were submitted, but there was something very whimsical about the idea of PianoMan - so I chose his meaning as today's winner.

Here it is: Mountebank was an infamous painter who painted over cliffs and riverbanks in bright colors.

Cromlech

A cromlech must describe Stonehenge I guess, because my dictionary says it's a circle of prehistoric standing stones. I guess the English word imps would have known that. Things were pretty quiet on this word, with the winner being a new player named SCarpenter. Well done SC. Here's their winning suggestion for cromlech:

"A cromlech is a bit of food dropped on one's clothing that is large enough to pick up and swiftly pop in your mouth. It is Scottish slang from the words 'crumb left'."

Ormolu

Ormolu is a decorative gold alloy, which isn't surprising. It sounds a lot like that to me now that I think about it. I loved all your invented meanings but had to go with the memories created by the suggestion of Thinks! Here it is: 'Ormolu': famous song of the 70's by Abba which won the eurovision song contest soemwhere around 1972.

Thanks again. Keep playing!

Lekker

Lekker is South African slang. It means attractive, nice or tasty. Thanks for your great invented meanings for lekker. I've chosen Hey Jude as today's winner.

Here's her suggestion: Lekker is a type of dried meat. Its most common form is dried reindeer meat, a delicacy in the far reaches of the Northern Hemisphere.

Desuetude

Desuetude refers to not being in use. So all that clutter in the wardrobe could be renamed desuetude. Interesting.
Well done to Vicki Malicki who worked hard to make all the elements of the word come together in her thought provoking meaning... "Desuetude is an emotion, or rather a mixture of emotions. Somebody who is experiencing Desuetude is desolate, suicidal, but with an attitude. The attitude part of the emotion prevents them from actually doing anything about feeling Desuetude. They feel like they can't carry on and that there is no way out, but then their attitude kicks in and tells them to snap out of it....people like this live in a perpetual state of Desuetude....not a nice way to live."

Scandium

In the real world, scandium is a rare silvery white metallic element. Who would have thought? I loved the invented meanings and friendly banter that went along with this meaning. It brought back memories of the old days when I had lots of blog visitors. I hope it's a sign that those days are returning. Choosing a winner was tricky as the meanings were all funny and innovative. However, a choice had to be made, so I went with...

Greedy Biscuit Baron: Scandium is the scientific term for the sleep/eyegrit that gets left in the corner of your eye after having had a kip. There are similar scientific terms for other unwanted bodily by-products, such as scendium which is the scientific term for bogeys and heardinium for earwax....

Good work, GBB. And great to have you back!

Rusticate

Rusticate has two very different meanings in real life. The most expected meaning is "to retire to the country". That's quite delightful and is a word that should be used more often. The other, unexpected meaning, is quite bizarre and intriguing. According to my dictionary, rusticate also means to "banish someone temporarily from university as a punishment". Now who would have ever thought that? That's what I like about being a word imp - the lifelong learning.

Anyway, the game participants will be keen to know which invented meaning has been selected as today's winner. It was a hard decision, but I have gone with the effort of Hey Jude. Well done, Jude. Here it is: To rusticate is to country-fy something. People who live in the city often rusticate their property to make it feel like they live more rurally. An example of this would be to adorn their garden with a wagon wheel, or an old milk can filled with a pansy plant.

Invigilate

Invigilating is actually supervising people who are sitting an exam! I would love to do that. It's one of my life's aims to invigilate! Usually the invented meanings are way cooler than the real meaning and they still are, but I just love the real meaning as well.

I chose Tony Chestnut's meaning as today's word imp winner. Well done TC. Here's his suggestion: Invigilate is the antonym of procrastinate. Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? (As a great procrastinator I can think of plenty of reasons!).

Viviparous

I am viviparous! It means producing live offspring which is what I have done twice. Strangely enough, the day I'm updating this blog (24 March) is the 13th anniversary of my last viviparous experience - which is another way of saying it's my youngest child's 13th birthday today. But I digress...

I have chosen Vicki Malicki as today's winner. Here's her funky meaning for viviparous: Viviparous is what happens to a once vivacious and beautiful woman when she realises that she has grown older, is losing her looks and men don't look at her in quite the same way anymore. Her vivaciousness vapourises, seemingly overnight, and all that is left is an empty shell of a woman. If only she had gone to secratarial school like her mother had wanted her to instead of relying on rich men to keep her in the lifestyle she was accustomed to....

Decretal

Thanks for your great meanings for decretal. It is actually a papal decree. Quite obvious when you think about it. However, ignorance was bliss on this occasion and allowed us to get creative. My favourite today was the creative moment from Hey Jude. Thanks Jude!

Here's her winning entry: Unfortunately I gave to be very honest with this one, and tell you all that decretal is the stuff you see hanging out of fishes' bottoms in fish tanks. And when it finally breaks off, another fish will come along and eat it. Yuck.

Sough

Sough describes a sighing sound - for example, the sighing sound made by the wind. That gives me another idea for a way to use the word 'sough' in future... Anyway, two brave word imps joined the game today and both were in the same ballpark.

Vicki Malicki scraped through with her suggestion that "Sough when pronounced sounds like cough. Sough is the noise that comes out when someone is saying a rude word under their breath, while trying not to let people in their immediate vicinity know that they are saying a rude word. You would think they just wouldn't bother saying it at all if they don't want people to hear, but an unstoppable urge leads them to sough. As for me, I just say it out loud!"

Legerdemain

Legerdemain is actually another word for sleight of hand or cunning deception. I'm not sure whether Dogmum knew that when she invented her cunning meaning. I liked that meaning a lot, Dogmum. However, on this occasion I have chosen the suggestion of LivelyClamor as it made me giggle - too close to the bone perhaps!

Here's LC's meaning for you: Legerdemain is making sure you have enough left on your to do list to put off working on taxes till tomorrow.

Graminivorous

Graminivorous means grass eating. So cows and sheep are graminivorous. I feel glad to know that. Thanks for your interesting meanings today. I chose the suggestion of Dogmum as my favourite - although I enjoyed them all. Well done everyone.

Dogmum said: Graminivorous describes inverse proportional eating in the animal kingdom. There is a common saying that people eat like a sparrow, usually used to describe someone who doeasn't eat very much. In actual fact, sparrows eat 2-3 times their body weight every day. Therefore the feeding patterns of animals such as sparrows is classed as graminivorous.

Brinjal

My dictionary informs me that brinjal is the name for the dark purple South African fruit which is - for reasons unexplained - cooked and eaten as a vegetable. I'll take their word for it. There's no mention of whether it's a vegetable dreaded by children. Perhaps someone of South African background can inform us of the taste of a brinjal. Thanks for your interesting contributions. I thoroughly enjoyed them and have chosen, as today's winner,Vicki Malicki for her choice of brinjal as a rite of passage.

Here's VM's meaning: Brinjal is an ancient Indian custom where upon reaching the age of 13, Indian males must eat exactly 13 of the hottest chillis available in India. This is where the term Delhi Belly originated from, as you can imagine the after effects of eating 13 very hot chillis is not too pleasant.

Pusillanimous

Pusillanimous is a synonym for timid and cowardly. I will try to use that in a sentence today! Thanks for your intriguing meanings for pusillanimous. I enjoyed reading them.Congrats to Whitedaisy for a great meaning.

Whitedaisy's winning entry is: Pusillanimous refers to the society of mysterious black cats which always comes out from nowhere. No one knows their names and where they came from. These cats are pusillanimous.

Cognomen

A cognomen is another word for nickname. My dictionary also says it's another word for surname. I prefer the nickname version. Thanks for your innovative meanings. I loved them all and I enjoyed this creative and very academic sounding meaning from Vfmac, today's winner:

The cognomen was an old position among young scribes. One so honored was tasked with holding up an open book for an elder, acting as a human podium in essence.