Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tachymeter
A tachymeter is rather more boring than your fabulous invented meanings would suggest, I'm sorry to say. It's an instrument used in surveying and has the job of locating points rapidly. I'm not a surveyor so that holds little meaning for me. Congratulations to Greedy Biscuit Baron for a good win on the poll - just edging out the competitors.
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A tachymeter (n.) is an instrument used by greetings card companies, especially those that like to include poems inside. The higher the scale on the tachymeter, the more likely the phrase/poem is to make it onto or into a card.
A tachymeter is used to measure the level of tastelessness apparent in cheap clothing, hideous household ornaments.
A tachymeter measures the sound of a human uttering the sound 'tut'. Thus a person saying 'tut-tut' would register 2 on the irritation scale marked on the tachymeter.
The tachymeter therefore shows how annoyed an individual is and there are movements afoot to introduce them next to grafittied walls and litter strewn areas to measure public annoyance. They may even replace speed cameras so that speeding motorists may receive up to 12 tut's on their license before being banned.
tgw44.blogspot.com
A tachymeter is used to determine what is appropriate when addressing the style of clothing worn in the presence of royalty.
"The peasant was excluded from the affair because his clothes did not measure well on the tachymeter."
The Tachymeter is a device that was invented by part-time painter and decorator Winston Bagsmith. (who also coined the phrase "as dull as watching paint dry")
His invention was a small square of paper (or other material similar to what you were just about to paint) which, once the room was half painted he would then paint the paper and put it somewhere safe, (usually pinned to the front of his overalls) ... this bit of paper he named a Tachymeter. He was most proud of his invention, simple though it was, as this ensured he could paint a wall with one coat of paint, and then go off and do his shopping or have a cup of tea, or a beer and it would still give him a good idea of how wet the paint was in the room he had just painted before he had to go back to start the second coat.
So there it is ... the Tachymeter
This is a rating scheme used on sci-fi show fansites to measure the amount of 'technobabble' on each episode. Has led to some interesting drinking games and, at the odd convention, all-out war.
A tachymeter is a learning tool which was used in the good old days of manual typewriters. Rather like a metronome, the tachymeter would be set to a certain speed and trainee typists would type as fast as their little fingers would allow in order to keep up. After a few lessons with the tachymeter they they were tapping away at 100 w.p.m.
A tachymeter is a learning tool which was used in the good old days of manual typewriters. Rather like a metronome, the tachymeter would be set to a certain speed and trainee typists would type as fast as their little fingers would allow in order to keep up. After a few lessons with the tachymeter they they were tapping away at 100 w.p.m.
A tachymeter is an instrument used to measure the intensity of sore throats.
The definitions are so mad that I can't begin to dream up a definition over my guffaws (although a tachymeter is actually is the instrument used in determining efficiencies/innefficiencies of fly trap insecticide strips).
Tachymeters are meters measured using yardsticks instead of meter sticks.
Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA
http://stephen-has-spoken.blogspot.com/
The tachymeter is one of the most useful pieces of kit in the carpet layer's toolbag. It is placed over the knees and bleeps whenever the carpet layer is about to kneel on a tack. It has been so successful that the health service has sponsored advertising for it because it has saved them so much money in emergency tack removal surgery.
A tachymeter is a contraption used to measure the stickiness of superglue.
Long-time lurker de-lurking for this one...
A tachymeter is obviously used to measure the stickiness of the floor at a given row of theater seats, so you can find a place to sit where your shoes won't stick to the floor.
:D
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